


Power has been cried by those stronger than me Straight into the face that tells you to rattle your chains

by Queenofcolors



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Racism, Sam Wilson-centric, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofcolors/pseuds/Queenofcolors
Summary: The sound of the penalty whistle could be heard coming from the television as Sam grabbed a beer. He grabbed two beers and opened the microwave to get the freshly popped popcorn. Sam walked back into the living room handing Bucky a beer.“We’ve got a special half time show for you folks,” the announcer on the television said as a drum line began to play the old Captain America chorus line theme song played. Chorus girls began to fill the field dancing as if they were in the 1930s chorus show.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 65





	Power has been cried by those stronger than me Straight into the face that tells you to rattle your chains

The sound of the penalty whistle could be heard coming from the television as Sam grabbed a beer. He grabbed two beers and opened the microwave to get the freshly popped popcorn. Sam walked back into the living room handing Bucky a beer.

“We’ve got a special half time show for you folks,” the announcer on the television said as a drum line began to play the old Captain America chorus line theme song played. Chorus girls began to fill the field dancing as if they were in the 1930s chorus show.

“Now introducing the new Captain America, John Walker,” the announcer says proudly as fireworks shot up into the night sky. A blonde-haired man with a blue and red suit that was similar to Steve’s old suit ran onto the field.

The audience erupted with applause as the chorus line girls danced and John Walker waved to the crowd like a pageant queen. The camera panned up to show the air force flying overhead, painting red, white, and blue mist into the sky.

The tv flickered off as Bucky looked over at Sam who had a stunned look on his face. Sam took a sip of his beer before placing it down and headed for the front door. Sam opened the shed door pulling out his wings and strapping it on.

“Sam…” Bucky said, looking sympathetic to Sam who had tears in his eyes. Sam kissed Bucky on the cheek.

“I’ll be back,” He whispered, feeling anxiety bubble up in his chest as the robotic wings stretched out. He took off into the night sky feeling the warm summer air hit his skin blowing the tears away, the weight of the world fully sinking in making his chest feel tight.

When he landed he was somewhere deep in the woods, he rested against one of the trees, his breathing heavy and erratic. His wings retracted as he took off the exoskeleton, falling to his knees. His mind raced as he tried to remember what his mother would tell him when he would have a panic attack.

_ “Just breath Samuel, everything's going to be alright,” Darleen Wilson said as the police officer integrated Paul Wilson while a five-year-old Sam Wilson sat in the back seat of the car watching in fear. Darleen reached out and grabbed Sam’s hand rubbing his hand softly. _

_ “Do you want to know what always makes me feel better when I’m scared?” Darleen said gently, trying to distract her son. Sam shook his head rubbing at his teary eyes. _

_ “I just think about a happy memory. Like remember when we all went to the beach and it was all sunny and warm,” She said, making Sam close his eyes to think of a happy memory. _

Sam let out a steady breath as he thought of happy memories, letting the memory of a laughing Bucky wash over him. He let out another steady breath he looked towards the night sky.

“What am I supposed to do now?” He said to the night sky as if it would give him answers. 

It was around 1 a.m. when Sam finally returned back to the cabin, he stood in the doorway of his shared room with Bucky. He watched his boyfriend sleep peacefully as he smiled softly before heading towards his old room. He hadn’t slept in that room since he and Bucky started dating five months ago. Sam crawled into the cold and empty bed; he just needed space to think and breathe.

____

Sam threw the shield with force before wiping the sweat from his forehead. The blazing sun was beating harshly on him as he continued to practice.

“I think you could use a break. I made lemonade,” Bucky said, handing him a glass of lemonade. Sam shook his head taking a sip from the glass.

“No, I have to be good,” He mumbled out as he wiped his mouth and pulled the shield from a tree.

“You know, I’m here for you. We could sit down and talk about it. Maybe we could contact Fury,” Bucky placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder giving him pleading eyes.

“The only way I’m getting the Captain America title is if I show that I’m capable of wielding the shield and that I deserve this,” He said angrily, throwing the shield again.

“You are worthy of the shield. Steve wouldn’t have given it to you if he didn’t think so,” Bucky said as Sam waved him off. Bucky sighed he knew Sam just needed space. Sam threw the shield once again, as a figure stepped out of the shadows.

“You’re getting pretty good,” Fury said, hands in his pocket, as Sam rolled his eyes.

“What are you doing here? Do they want the shield back?” He said angrily.

“You know, I vouched for you,” Fury said as Sam let out a dry laugh.

“I fought for you but the council…the council, well, had other ideas,” He said.

“Don’t you mean Whiter ideas,” Sam said bitterly.

“I’m going, to be honest with you. The council is just full of white, racist, old men. But I believe in you; Steve believed in you. We can fight this, I will push for you to be the only Captain but you’ll need to come back to D.C.” Fury said as Sam hesitated. 

All he could think of was how tired he was of proving himself. He was so tired of the world judging his ability just based on the color of his skin. He was so tired of having to compete with a white counterpart to be recognized. 

“I know you’ll do the right thing,” Fury said before disappearing leaving Sam alone with his thoughts.

Sam locked himself in his room the rest of the day his eyes fixated on the shield that taunted him. The shield reminded him he will never be good enough, reminded him that the color of his skin will always hold him back. 

“Sam, honey, I made chili! I thought since you haven’t eaten much today,” Bucky said standing in front of the locked door. Sam opened up the door to reveal his tired eyes. He smiled somberly.    
  


“Fury wants me to fight for my position as Captain. But I’m starting to think Steve made the wrong choice and that me being Captain is a lost cause,” Sam said. Bucky sat next to him on the bed.

“When I was growing up Steve and I would play on the playground at the park, and I remember this one time these two white kids were messing with this black kid who wore a homemade Superman costume. We must have been about five or six and of course, Steve had to say something. I remember one of the bullies said the black kid couldn’t dress up like Superman because Superman was white and that black people can’t be superheroes. And I remember Steve saying that Black kids had just as much right to dress up as superheroes as the white kids did,” Bucky said as Sam looked confused.

“The point of my story is Steve knew what he was doing giving you the shield. Steve knew that Captain America represented America, and he knew that the best person to represent America was you. He knew that you could represent minorities. He knew you could inspire black children and show them that they have just as much right to be a superhero and that they won’t be held back for the color of their skin. I know right now this John Walker guy makes you want to give up but I know you and I know you can see that you can make a real difference,” Bucky said, looking into Sam’s eyes wiping away Sam’s tears. Bucky picked up Sam’s empty chili bowl and began to head to the door.

“Bucky… we will leave in the morning after breakfast,” Sam said gently before getting up.

“Also...I want to sleep next to you tonight,” Sam blushed as Bucky kissed his cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback and comments welcomed


End file.
